Updated: Nov 18, 2019
School holidays was the ideal time to take my six year old roller skating as a reward for a month of excellent school drop offs. We left the babies at home with dad, dragged along Grandma and a not so impressed 14 year old cousin and headed for the skate rink, 7pm-9pm open for all abilities - DISCO NIGHT!
Grandma and I were both excellent skaters when we were children (or so we thought) and took turns with the novice, doing our best to teach her how to balance while trying to remember ourselves. So while one was teaching and helping, the other would whiz off for a lap around the circuit. It was just how I remember it, disco music, disco lights, cool air in my face, feeling AWESOME!
To be perfectly honest, I should have seen it coming. I'd taken a few tumbles as I got the hang of roller skating again - some minor bruises, not to worry.... but I'm one cocky old baggage and just had to keep pushing, had to go faster, because you see, I'm hardcore like that! Grandma and I even had the gumption to try going backwards, and then skite to each other about our attempts.
Unfortunately, while I was going about 100kms per hour my wheels gained traction at an unforeseen moment and I flew through the air like a dynamo, landing on both hands out-stretched into an unlady-like heap. A gang of eleven year olds came to my aid, their leader offered me an ice-pack and explained that her grandad ran the joint. I tried to play it cool while my second thoughts were wondering why my arms weren't doing what they were told.
After telling myself it was just a sprain, I finally went to the doctors at 11pm later that night after being spoon fed my dinner by my very patient partner, unable to do it myself.
Seven x-rays later, I have three fractures, one in each elbow and my scaphoid and got home at 3am with both arms in plaster past my elbows. Luckily the next day one cast had to be re-done and the doctor I saw felt the fractures weren't too bad on my right and decided it was OK to have a go at managing without a cast and just light use.
I can't pick up my babies, I can't cook or clean (damn!) or do much more than one finger typing. Sounds like the ideal time to build my website.
My in-laws and partner are amazing and taking wonderful care of my children and me but I am missing my independence. Especially being able to subtly pop a loose boob back in my bra when necessary.
Moral of the story, don't try to one up your mother in-law, it never ends well.